Translated from the Ukrainian by Oles Kovalenko and Vasil Baryshev It wouldn't be inaccurate to say that it is the story-writers who actually introduce kids to the world they live in... Using words, they paint a bizarre yet convincing pattern of the essential human values Love, Beauty, Honesty, Courage as opposed to Hatred, Uglyness, Meanness, Cowardice... This is a massive, wide-ranging collection of tales full of action, ferocious energy and imagination offered by leading Ukrainian authors of several generations. .j Rocking with laughter and dissolving in tears, praising the good and grappling with the evil — these entertaining and brilliantly plotted mysteries have it all!
Once upon a time there lived a poor man who had an even poorer son. He was a real weakling, feeble and sickly, frail and skinny. That's why he was known locally as Misfit. The old man and his son lived in a shabby, damp room and they ate only crusts. That was bad enough, but when the old man died, things went from bad to worse for Misfit. His landlord told him to clear out. Monplussed, the poor boy stood in the middle of a road. He didn't know where to go or what to do. Finally, he pulled him-?elf together. "Somehow I'll make it to the town and look for a job there," Misfit thought. "Even if nothing turns up, some kind person might take pity on me and give me something to eat." And off he went towards the town. ...The town turned out to be a noisy place. People hurrying all directions and nobody even had time to ask the boy if he s hungry let alone give him something to eat. Suddenly, a ndow opened in a huge stone house and an ugly old woman poked her head out and screeched at the top of her voice: "Hallo, everybody, come to munch Fried sausages as a home-made lunch! Hallo, everybody, don't hesitate, It's waiting for you, sizzling on the plate!" "That's just what I need," Misfit thought. "I'm hungry. Maybe this good old woman will give me something to eat." And he hurried towards her. The old hag saw the boy approach and asked, "What is it you want, laddie?" "Why, I heard you inviting people to have lunch..." The old hag burst out laughing. "Are you mad or what? I meant neither you nor the likes of you! I was inviting the local cats and dogs to come and keep my own animals company. But all right, come in, I shall find something for you too... There, help yourself!" She treated Misfit to a very good meal and after the boy had had his fill, she asked, "I say, laddie, would you like to work for me? I need someone to look after my pets and play with them. What about it?" "Done," said Misfit. He was very glad that he had been offered a job so quickly and a very easy one at that. The months went by, but the old hag didn't so much as mention his wages. Finally, Misfit lost patience and demanded his pay. The old hag grew furious with him: "You good-for-nothing, how dare you! You should be glad I feed such a miserable weakling like you! Just you wait, I'll give you what for!" Misfit's heart sank. "What have I done?" he thought desperately. "I'd better get out of here before this nasty hab beats me to a pulp!" As soon as the old woman left, he wrapped his belongings into a bundle and slipped out of the room. The boy was at the outer door when he felt someone tugging at his pants. It was one of the old woman's dogs, the one Misfit liked to play with most. The dog whined and wagged his tail, and it took Misfit some time to realize what the dog wanted. Misfit followed the dog who led him to the door of a small room which was usually locked. But that day the old woman had been so angry that she had forgotten to lock it, so Misfit pulled the door open and stepped in. To his disappointment, there was nothing in there except some witchcraft tools like spinning wheels, reels, broken scythes, sickles, knives and other odds and ends. None of these things could be of any use to him, but as he was about to leave, he saw a pair of old boots and a stick standing in the corner. " I might need these," the boy decided. He promptly took the boots and the stick and went out. But those boots were far from ordinary. The moment Misfit pulled them on he found himself high up in the air! The magic boots carried Misfit with breath-taking speed and he had to shout "Stop it!" three times before they brought him gently back to land. The boy stood trying to get his breath back. Then he lay down on the grass and fell fast asleep. In his dreams, Misfit saw the same dog which had shown him the old woman's secret room of the old woman's house. The dog said, "You don't know how to use these boots, so I'll tell you. With them on, you can take gigantic strides moving seven miles an hour, and if you turn around on your heel three times before you start, they'll take you wherever you like in a jiffy. The stick is magic too. If you happen to pass by a place where money is buried, the wand will dig itself into the ground; it will do so twice when there's silver, and three times when there's gold. Now you can go, Misfit, and good luck to you. Don't be foolish and everything'll be just fine for you!" At this moment Misfit woke up, the last words of the dog still echoing in his ears. The boy began to consider how he could use the magic things to best advantage. Suddenly it dawned upon him that if he went to the capital he could join the Royal Messengers. In any case, he would be better off in the capital than in that sleepy little town. So Misfit pulled on his magic boots, turned around on his heel -- one, two, three! -- and instantly found himself standing in front of the King himself. The King looked at Misfit closely and asked, "What do you want, boy?" "I want to join the Royal Messengers, Your Majesty," said the boy, trying to smooth down his untidy hair. "You, a Royal Messenger?" scoffed the King. "Grow yourself a pair of strong legs first!" But Misfit stood his ground boldly. "Give me a chance, Your Majesty," he insisted, "and if I don't run twice as fast as your quickest messengers, Your Majesty, you can do whatever you choose with me, even hang me." "All right, you cheeky devil," said the King. "Here is my letter to another king. If you're back with his answer within one week, I shall make you Senior Royal Messenger." "Very well, Your Majesty," said Misfit. He took the letter and left. Once out of the capital, Misfit put his magic boots on, turned on his heel three times and — zoom! -- in a splitsecond he stood in front of the other king. The king read the message and promptly wrote an answer. Then Misfit used his magic boots again to get back to his King. "Was I quick enough, Your Majesty?" the boy asked. The King only gave him an astonished look and said, "Well, I -- I shall take you on as my senior messenger and I'll pay you as much as you ask." That's how Misfit entered ro}'al service. The King took a great liking to him and often asked the boy to dine with him. The other courtiers soon became terribly envious of Misfit. They made up false stories about him and told the King. Misfit felt very hurt by all this, for he was a good-natured boy and couldn't see what was wrong. He racked his brains eager to win the friendship of the courtiers. "If I was rich," he thought, "I'd know what to do. I would shower all these men with money until they stopped slandering me before the King." Suddenly Misfit remembered about his magic stick. He waited impatiently for night to come. The boy had heard that the King's late father had buried his treasures in the royal orchard. When darkness fell, Misfit got ready for his venture. He took his magic wand, a lantern, a spade and a sack and slipped out of his room. Soon after he began searching the royal orchard, the magic wand stuck into the ground three times. Misfit began to dig there and, before long, unearthed a large cauldron full of golden coins. The boy stuffed bis sack with the coins and covered the rest with earth again. Then he returned to his quarters, his sack being so heavy that he barely managed to carry it on his back. If Misfit had been cleverer, he would not have said a word about his find. But he wasn't so wise and he immediately started to shower the courtiers with gold showing more generosity than the King himself. However, the boy's plan backfired. The courtiers rushed to the King: '' Your Majesty, we believe Misfit is a thief. We are sure he has found your treasure. Otherwise, how could he have got so much money?" The King believed what his courtiers told him. He called the unlucky fellow in and asked him point-blank, "Now tell me, Misfit, where did you get all that money from?" At first Misfit tried to deceive the King, but the King cross-questioned him mercilessly and in the end Misfit confessed about the magic wand, the treasure, and the magic boots. Under the King's orders, everything was taken away from the boy and locked in the royal treasure-chamber. Then Misfit was driven out of the palace. Now he was even poorer than before. Misfit walked and walked until he found himself deep in the middle of a dense forest. There on the river bank, he spotted two pear-trees with large juicy pears the likes of which he had never seen before. Thinking how fortunate he was to find something to eat, Misfit plucked some pears off the nearest tree and ate them. Then he went to the river to get a drink of water. As he knelt down to scoop up some water, he caught sight of his reflection; some-i how his ears had grown very long like those of an ass and his nose was swollen and very similar to that of a turkey. "Serves me right," Misfit said to himself bitterly. "I really deserve these ass ears. Now I'll have some pears from the other tree before I drown myself." When he'd had enough fruit from the other tree, he returned to the river. He looked into the water and, to his great surprise, he saw that his face was back to normal. The hideous ears and nose were gone! Misfit jumped up and down with joy. "Well," he said to himself, "now I know what I should do!" By a lucky coincidence he had two bags with him. He filled one bag with pears from the first tree, and the other one with the pears from the second. Then Misfit walked back to the capital. He went straight to one of his friends and asked if he could stay at his house for the night. In the morning, Misfit disguised himself as a peasant. He smeared his face with dirt and pasted on a fake moustache. Then he put on a tall sheepskin hat, took the bag with the pears he had tried first and went to the King. The King was absolutely amazed by the wonderful fruit. He payed the peasant handsomely, called together his sons and daughters and let them try those wonders of nature for even pears in the Royal Orchard were never as ripe and tasty as these. The King and his family ate the pears with gusto until they suddenly noticed each other's faces and then they froze, terrified by what they saw. "What's happened to your ears, Father?! They're dreadful!" "Goodness, just look at your nose, wife!" "Oh, my daughter, you look so repulsive." "Hey, servants, why are you standing and gaping at us?!" "Bring every single doctor in the city to the palace! Quick!" "Oh my ears!..." "Oh my nose!..." "How am I going to appear before my army tomorrow?" "And how can I possibly go to the ball tomorrow night?" The King and his family wailed until the doctors came. Meanwhile, Misfit ran out of the palace to buy himself some clothes of the type doctors wore. Then he went back to the friend he had stayed with, washed and changed into a white smock. Misfit stuffed his pockets with the second kind of pears and reappeared before the King pretending he was a healer from a far-off land. "Save me and my family, good man, for Goodness sake!" the King begged him. "My so-called doctors are all idiots, they can do nothing but stare at us!" "I shall try," Misfit answered calmly. He produced a pear and gave it to the youngest prince. The prince took a bite and instantly became his former self, his ears and nose were back to normal. The King gasped and grabbed Misfit by the arm. "Come with me, healer, I'll take you to my treasure-chamber! I'll give you anything you want, only save me and my family from this shame!" The King led Misfit to the chamber where all his riches were. But the boy took only his magic wand and the magic boots. He pulled on his boots and said, "Don't you recognize me, Your Majesty? I'm the very boy you took on as a messenger and then ruthlessly banished from your palace, without a penny to my name. I didn't steal your gold. I dug it up in the garden. There was also a letter written by your late father. For you to know, it read that the treasure was to go to he who found it!" As he said this, Misfit turned round once and gave his boots a mental order to carry him away to his native village. And in a moment he was there. But the King and the other members of his family remained with disfigured faces forever.
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